“Does it feel different?”

September 7, 2014

Mary writes: Does it feel different? I don’t know exactly. Well, I am married two days now. TWO days.  Changed the marital status on my employer’s web site, changed my profile with my bank, and changed my status on Facebook.

The “Does it feel different to be legally married?” question has me baffled.  In some respects, the obvious answer is YES, absolutely. I feel grown up. Deeper in love. Panicky at the thought of ever being separated from Cootie.  This morning we went to the same church where the pastor married us Friday night.  When the pastor called for visitors, I stood up and introduced us.  I said, “Hi, I’m Mary and this is my spouse, Tammerie.  Your pastor (speaking to the congregation) married us in this church this past Friday night!”  The congregation clapped!!! And clapped!!!  I sat down, heart pounding, eyes filling up, throat getting all tight.  The “plain people,” these Mennonites, these simple God-fearing people put their hands together and gave us a rousing “Good on you!”

So, it has been that kind of Sunday when the air is cooler, a hint of fall is in the air … and I am married.  We took some cheese and sneaky wine to the park, watched dogs and kids, and talked about our future. Cootie looks luminous. This beautiful kind rabble-rousing woman is married to me. Married … I can’t stop saying the word. Married.

So, yeah, some things have not changed at all.  We “married” one another sitting on a log by the creek at our house in NC … years ago.  We “married” over and over, every time we had to hassle about the kiddos, or deal with the death of her parents, or struggle with her vocational longings, or confront the passing of years across my face. We’ve been “married”  all this time if you want to define it as love plus commitment equals forever.

Now, the quotation marks are gone.  We are simply … married.    And, I cannot look at the ring on my left hand without feeling the tears.

And it goes on …

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